Have you blown it? Of course you have. We have all blown it. Not to take the subject lightly, but if you have royally blown it, there is still a path to recovery. Decisions are always in front of us. Sometimes we make good ones and other times we make bad ones. Have you just made a bad one? That does not make you special, it makes you normal.
I am not making excuses for your bad decision, nor am I giving you a pass to make another one. In fact, my attempt is to do the opposite. There is life after blowing it, but it may take time and patience.
1- Stop and re-evaluate where you went wrong. – You don’t want to keep beating yourself up, but you need to do an honest evaluation of the steps that lead up to the failure. You may have made good decisions and was moving in a good direction, before it all came apart. You need to identify that moment and why it occurred. This will help you have the knowledge not to make that mistake gain.
2- See if you are developing a habit or pattern of bad decisions. - If you are making bad decisions consistently, you need to delve a little deeper. Is there a character flaw that needs to be addressed? Have you allowed habits or patterns to form that need to be broken or changed? Patterns, good or bad, develop in our lives and often we are the last one to realize it.
3- Seek accountability before moving forward. - A friend is a person who loves you unconditionally, but also tells you the truth unfiltered. When you realize a decision has to be made, run it by your accountability partner. Don’t find a person who will always agree with you, or that does not understand you. Allow the right person to have the freedom to speak another point of view into your life.
4- Keep your mind in gear. - Often after failure, we shut down. We tend to tell ourselves we “deserve” free time. That may be so physically and mentally, but be careful how far you allow this to do. More people get themselves into deeper trouble when they have no responsibility or accountability. Stay focused on something of value so your mind will stay engaged and help you move forward. Depression and stress will have place to stay with you when you keep moving forward.
5- Don’t allow your entire life to be characterized by one event. - If you did something really stupid, own up to it. Take responsibility for it, but move forward. If you need to make restitution, ask for forgiveness, or make a change in your life, do it. As soon as you get the path of restitution, forgiveness, and correction underway; move on. Do not allow someone or something to so overwhelm you that you lose all self-worth and self-esteem. There are many more days ahead. Rebuild and come back stronger than ever. Don’t allow you’re past to characterize your future, but you do need to learn from it.