I am writing a 2 part series on parenting. I am not an expert by any means. I do not claim to be the example. I have made many mistakes, but I have learned from them. I have been in the ministry thirty years, and I have been a parent over twenty-five years. I have been the Founder and Superintendent of a Christian school for over twelve years. That may not make me an expert, but it does make me experienced. I have been involved in almost every type of situation you could imagine with parents and children.
I want to preface what I am about to say with a few statements. There are exceptions to every rule. There are times when the normal rules may not apply. As a parent, you may be doing all you know how to do, but it is simply not working. You may need some special intervention and help with your situation. With all of that said though, I want to discuss the biggest problem I see with children today….the parents. Most children would be fine if they had consistent training and leadership from their parents.
I would like to share two posts giving you a total of five principles I believe you will find in successful parents.
1- You should be TEACHING AUTHORITY –
I grew up learning to say “yes mam” and “no mam”. I believe it is still appropriate today. There should be an understanding with children that they honor those in authority. As a Police Chaplain I have witnessed many situations where children and teenagers have a complete disregard for authority. Many of the parents do all they can to help the children avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They teach the children to “beat the system”. This is setting the child up for a big fall. Everyone has authority. To be successful in life you will have to submit to an authority. Of course, I believe ultimately we have to submit to the authority of God. When a child has the proper relationship with God they will have no problem with other authority in their life.
2- You should be MODELING RESPECT –
You cannot mandate this when they are teenagers. You must start it when they are toddlers. If they are taught to respect their teachers and parents when they are young, they will respect them when they are older. As a parent, we have a responsibility to respect our elders and authority, thus teaching our children. If I want my son to respect women, I need to teach him to respect his mother. If my daughter is to respect her husband one day, it will start by her mom’s respect for me. This is not having an ego or trying to dominate a child. It is simply teaching them how to become good adults one day. If they learn to respect their teachers, they will one day respect their boss. It is a chain reaction that a parent must start.