I’m not very big on “love at first sight”. I’m not saying it never happens, but when it does it is not the way Hollywood portrays it. Love is an acquired emotion that takes time and effort. It doesn’t just “happen”. On the flip side, I am not at all in agreement with the statement, “we just fell out of love.” In my opinion, you love who you want to love. You don’t fall “into” or “out of” love. Rather you make a decision “to love” or “not to love” someone. Usually the reason a spouse feels that he/she has fallen out of love is because they have allowed someone else to step into that role in their life.
When you see your spouse in a brand new light, you will cultivate the love in your relationship. In the first post, I offered the first three check points. Now let’s look at three more.
4- Give instead of take. Selfishness is part of our human nature. We have been taught to look out for number one. When in a relationship, that kind of thinking must be reversed. Try one week of meeting the needs of your spouse before your own needs are met. See if they don’t reciprocate.
5- Build instead of tear down. I’m the master of “cut-down”. That means I can be hyper-critical and even mean without meaning to do so. Never forget that when you speak a word, it can never be taken back. Tearing your spouse down does not make you look better. It makes you harder to love. When you build up your spouse, you are in reality building your relationship.
6- Make them a priority, not an option in your life. After years in a relationship, a spouse may become part of the furniture. You know they will be there. There may not be a lot of love, just two people living in the same home. When children arrive they often get more attention than your spouse. If you want happy children, show them loving parents. Teach them that your spouse gets priority. They will love you for it, but so will your spouse!
This is not an exhaustive list. It is simply six things to make you think. Would you like to leave me a comment and add to the list?